Sunday, May 1, 2011

28. Changing habits, self-discipline, repetition, rewards, success and easiness.

An ancient quote is saying 
"Habit is the best of the servants, the worst of the masters"

Habits resemble the angular momentum, or spin of  massive bodies: The physical  law says that it tends to be conserved.

The top-down flow:
Sow a thought and you reap an emotion;
Sow an emotion and you reap an act;
Sow an act and you reap a habit;
Sow a habit and you reap a character;
Sow a character and you reap a destiny;

The bottom-up  flow:

According to Marshall Sylver (in his book "Passion, Power, Profit"), our lives are much determined by our habits. The sequence is
1. Experience---> Feeling----> Belief---->Habit----> Character------>Conduction of Life.
An experience creates a feeling. And then this feeling when reinforced after similar situations and validation, it creates a belief which acts as a program of the subconscious to create a habit. Then our habits create our character and the conduction of our life.
2. Beliefs programmed in our subconscious mind remain there until they are replaced by other beliefs.
3. Modern doctors have been able to isolated the creation of particular organic polymers  in the body called "peptide" that embody such subconscious programs.
4. Trans or subconscious reprogramming is the no critical acceptance of ideas or concepts on a subconscious level.
5. In the process of formation of beliefs the conscious mind seeks validations that will allow it to be accepted as reality.
6. A habit is considered to  take approximately a minimum of 21 days to be formed.
7. Every new subconscious program through a particular procedure, makes later programs with a similar procedure easier to accept.
8. Beliefs personal or multi-personal , as self-fulfilling prophecies  tend to happen.
9. The less the conscious effort in an activity the more the subconscious will respond and takeover.
10. Subconscious beliefs are usually programmed to the subconscious through emotion.
11. Desires and emotions are easily driven though imagery of the fantacy.
12. Therefore habits can be chosen
13. As a habit is formed the more it is repeated the easier it becomes to have as standard behaviour.
That is why Warren Buffet usually says that 
"The chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken"
and another quote says : "Habit is a skirt made from ethereal  thread, but it  is harder than an armor from steel"
14. Perform mental scan of all the day with its events especially relevant to the habit of interest, at the end of the day in the bed before we fall asleep and at the beginning of the day before we get up from the bed.
15. Randomly during the day (e.g. with an electronic alarm in your mobile phone) test if what you are doing or if your state at the particular moment, is adding to the success of the new habit or is subtracting from it. Accept only positive, or negative assessment. (the scorecard).

In the conscious reprogramming of the subconscious through self-talk, external or internal, it is better if
16. we use positive affirmative, not negative words and images
17. we use the present tense
18. we use the 1st person of the grammar
19. we affirm an action rather than an aptitude
20.we focus the attention on one area at a time
21. we use all available details
22. we are exact
23. we try feasible goals

The technique of installing a new habit by rewarding only and not punishing goes like this

1)Choose what you want the new habit or systematic  action to be
2) Reward the action or any part of the action anytime you catch it happening at first.
3) Create a signal for the subconscious memory, or a mind trigger (like a Pavlov;s bell) that you can use , when you catch the desired behaviour, so that you can trigger it later.
4) Insist on greater respond and loyalty each time
5) Reward it some times with an extra reward (jackpot) and some times not at all.
6) NEVER reward the undesired behaviour.

According to Richard Bandler and John Grinder creators of the NLP (Neuro-Linguistic-Programming) (see and a 6-step method to change an undesired  habitual behaviour to a desired habit, while maintaining the important benefits that the old behavioural habit used to provide is:

1) Identify the pattern or behavioural habit you want to change
2) Establish communication with the part X of your subconscious (subself) that generated the behaviour. (usually in trans state or the state of the consciousness just before we get asleep in the night or wake up in the morning)
3) Separate the intention of the subconscious from the behaviour.
4) Create alternative behaviours to satisfy the same subconscious intention.
5) Have part X accept the new behaviours and the responsibility for generating them when needed.
6) Make an "ecological"  or "democracy" check in the sense that other subselfs Y's do not object seriously to the change.

According to Tony Robbins ( in his mp3 seminar

changes are mainly of two types a) change a habit about how you feel about something
b) change a habit of your behaviour on something. Sometimes the 2nd cannot be achieved unless at first a habit of feelings does not change. E.g. Overeating is usually an example. And the habits are mainly supported by our subconscious boldly so as to avoid pain and get pleasure. Therefore the way to brake the "anchor" of the undesired habit in the subconscious we must reverse the association of pain and pleasure, and convince the subconscious that continuing the habit is associated with massive pain, while following a new habit is associated with pleasure. The self-disciple to do it is based in a undying belief that has 3 components a) That it is imperative to make the change b) that personally you should be responsible and conduct this change c) that you have the ability to do it.
The 6-step method for changing the habit is the next:
1) Decide what habit you want to change and what is preventig you from doing it.

(successful people focus on what they want and how they will personally get it. Unsuccessful people focus on what they do not want, and whom to blame).
Here it is important that to change a habit, you must know with what habit to substitute it, not just know how to stop the old habit.
Usual preventing elements: feeling, belief, fear etc

2) Get leverage for yourself. This means that you have to associate pain to your subconscious with continuing the habit, and massive pleasure in shifting to the new habit. Of course here the ability to  liquidate  anchored feelings of the subconscious and  have them solid again is important. To associate pain and pleasure you use self-imposed questions e.g. What am I missing from my life staying in the old habit? What will I enjoy having myself in the new habit? And make the questions at the critical moment of the event. More than 80% of the change is the "Why", and less than 20% is the "How"
3) Interrupt the pattern of the old habit (Create a habit buster)
E.g. according to marshall Sylver, by writing on the packet of the cigarettes the precise time and minute of the moment e go take a cigarette we create a habit buster. Because we give time tour conscious and subconscious to get in rapport, to have awareness and be able to really choose our action. Another example in overeating is counting a number of beads in a wrist ring, that again give us time to be aware and align conscious with subconscious. Other alternative habit-busters is creating a reference by visualizing a role model. (e.g. in weight loosing, think of slim persons and of how they would think and feel and act at the particular moment). 
4) Create an empowering alternative habit.
5) Condition the new pattern-habit so as to remain consistent.
Repetitions of the new pattern-habit  is the main tool for subconscious conditioning, and in that, the technique of rewarding only the occurrences of the new habit (never the older) as in a corresponding paragraph above is a very powerful tool. E.g, in weight loss, review every day all the meals and eating events, and if they are in the new pattern of nutrition and quantities, then put a green card in your desk or visual board. If not, a red card. Then the next day reward yourself with the pre-agreed prize if it is green (e.g. a small excursion of 30 minutes, or quality time with good company or 30 minutes your favourite game, or a warm bath, or extra sex  etc)
6) Make a simulational test of the new habit.
This means , that after composing the new habit, close your eyes, and dream a situation that you usually apply the old-pattern-habit, and new dream the new behaviour and habit, and feel if the resulting overall feeling and situation is accepted, better, empowering and desired. If not go back and change some of the details, repeat the test till it is OK.