Sunday, May 1, 2011

65. Anger

First some good words about anger

Aristotle about anger: 
"Anger for the right reason, at the right moment, towards the right direction, is excellence"
According to many psychologists and doctors, anger that is suppressed in silence in many situations and for many years, statistically may lead to cancer , heart attacks, strokes and many other diseases.

On the other hand  subjectivity with a very frequent emotional substratum and tone of anger and irritation, again may lead to the same diseases and many more.

Anger is most often created when someone else or other people violate one or more of the basic generally accepted rules of social and personal life. 

Other times it has subconscious roots, where there is indeed some serious violations of our rights, but we are not conscious who, how, where and when, and the result is a general presupposition to get angry. 

A key to be free of frequent anger is to realize that eventually we may not have control over the external causes of anger, and it is an attempt in vain to try to control (the external causes) through the anger.
On the other hand we do have power and we may control our own emotional responses , therefore we have the freedom not to disturb our subconscious with anger.

As Markus Avrelious was saying , the negative effect in our life of the external cause of our anger and sadness, may be by far less significant than the negative effect in our life of the anger and sadness itself about them.

Being therefore aware of the above, and the events that cause us to be angry, in a systematic way, we may be prepared and be in no surprise. We may prepare ourselves by saying inside us 

"Now he (she) is going to do (or say, or be in a way) this that makes me angry, or it is going to happen this that makes me angry , but I am not going to get angry , because I know that, and I keep my distance from it ".

Anger is also very destructive in the public relations in a way that is insidious.

Let us say that the person A (that usually gets angry) , is talking with the person B1, about a situation C or a  third person C and there is intense anger in the words of A towards C, as he is talking. The subconscious of B (not the conscious) nevertheless is making much less or no fine logical discriminations at all, and is recording instead that A is angry with B1. Now as this is repeated, and not only with B1, but B2, B3 etc, eventually it has destructive effects to the public relations of A.

According to the famous author Steven Pressfield, in his book "The war of art" , some times the sources of anger are on purpose. In other words they intent consciously to makes us angry and loose our energy and good mood, or balance because they are fed by our energy of anger! Like a cunning feminine who is trying to arouse sexually the masculine,  so some causes of anger are trying on purpose to make you angry. 

One of the best transmutations of the energy of anger ( war type of energy) is to shift it to creativity. To create stories and situations where the sources of anger are defeated, no longer make the violations that create anger, or show in full extent the righteousness of he/she who gets angry.