Sunday, May 1, 2011
43. The family.
A family with children, when governed with good principles is an ideal space for love, happiness and meaningful life. Children need love, calmness and security. To live in an orderly beautiful and clean house with the necessary silence and respect of the private space and time of each other is very important. A family can function properly even if the parents are not erotic couple anymore. Parental equality , absence of hate, plane or hidden, sincerity and equal balance of parental power, is indispensable for the proper growth of children. The function of the parent entails exercise of power, and here is where good values are necessary. The parental power is natural only till the children became adults. It must not be forced from the side of the parents, while the children are already responsible adults. It could be offered very carefully from the side of the parents only if adult children due to severe misfortunes in their life, ask for it. Parents that have practiced proper values and principles deserve gratitude from their children.
Machiavellianism in parenthood is to be avoided. The proper way that parental power and love is exercised is extremely important. It must respect the child's secrets, privacy, honor and free will. The children are not means for the parents to have their unfulfilled dreams , adopted and fulfilled by their children. Neither the means to polarise according to their likes and dislikes or hate to other persons or situations. Although when the preferences and choices of parents and children coincide, it would be a very happy coincidence, most of the times children have their own and different dreams to fulfil and choices to make. Their life and talents is entirely theirs, to utilize for their own dreams. The members of a family is not to abuse the over-familiarity so as to tease or create through aggressiveness, complexes to each other. If you behave (or conversely feel treated ) in a more kind and nice way to almost strangers non-family members, than the way you behave with members of your own family, then something is wrong. You should make it a rule to treat the members of your own family at least as discretely and nice as other important persons you relate. It is nice to be important but it is more important to be nice. Although a family can be a strong place of love, it can easily become under wrong values, a hellish space where all talents, and the creativity of children or parents may be straggled.
In Europe and now starting in USA, there is low birth rate, while in the developing countries there is overpopulation with high child mortality. Giving birth to children is not by itself a good action, if there are not sufficient good conditions and probabilities for a responsible healthy and secure growing up of the children. To give birth to a child when it is highly probable that it will die from hunger and thirst is irresponsible and horrible.
On the other hand the couples in the developed countries that do have the means to grow up children with love and security, must be aware of and analyse carefully any social emanated negativity, that tend to endow them with prejudices and mentality that is against having children.
Family is a powerful intimate unit.